July brought with it an unexpected initiation: a full-body confrontation with the fear of failure. This is my story of breaking through fear of failure and shame—how even beautiful opportunities can trigger old wounds, and how I found my way back to joy, self-trust, and a deeper connection with my soul’s purpose.
A dear friend asked if I’d be a part of the Awaken Expo again. I’ve been involved with it since 2017, and while I’ve returned many times over the years, I hadn’t participated since 2022. The moment I said yes, I could feel something powerful shifting. This wasn’t just another event—it felt like a portal.
This time? The energy felt even bigger—like the hush right before a storm breaks open with sacred purpose.
And the moment I said yes, it was as if Spirit threw open the floodgates of divine alignment.
Opportunities came rushing in like a river remembering its path—collaborations, podcast invites, registrations for upcoming Mesa Blanca ceremonies and workshops, even singing invitations. It was like the Universe had been holding its breath, just waiting for me to take one bold step forward.
And I should’ve been excited, right?
And I was.
But underneath the excitement was something else… a quiet panic building in my chest.
With everything I was already holding—my kids, my husband, school, work, volunteering, running my healing center—how the hell was I supposed to add more to my plate? I’m a one-woman show right now. And to be honest, I started slipping into old patterns. I didn’t want to be seen. I wanted to crawl into my hermit cave and disappear.
That’s when the self-sabotage crept in, quiet but vicious. I started ignoring calls. Putting off tasks. Missing deadlines. Procrastinating so much that the weight of it all made me feel like I was drowning. I was working 60+ hours a week and still staying up until 4am trying to catch up, asking myself, What the hell am I doing?
I asked for help—but no one could help me the way I needed. No one else had the spiritual systems I’ve built over time, and the thought of teaching someone while barely holding myself together? It felt impossible.
Then the inevitable happened—I missed a client session.
It wasn’t even in my calendar.
Spirit had warned me… but I was too overwhelmed to listen.
The shame hit me like a tidal wave.
I was angry at myself. Disappointed. Embarrassed. I felt like I had failed everyone. It was like every suppressed emotion I’d been pushing aside for weeks just cracked wide open and came flooding in, with no mercy.
But thank God—thank Spirit—for the tools I’ve gathered since 2013.
I reached out to my spiritual community, the one I created: Sacred Earth Healing Hearts. It was a Spiritual 911 call for soul support.
(You’re welcome to join us here if you ever need the same.)
Then I messaged my best friend and said the words I never want to admit:
“I’m lost. I need help. I don’t behave like this. I’m usually the strong one, the one who holds space for everyone else.”
She listened. She felt into it. She said,
“This feels like it’s connected to your singing… and the fear around it.”
And in that moment, something cracked open. A thread of truth pulled loose from the chaos.
I gave myself one hour of sacred isolation—hot tub, cold plunge, then sauna. I let myself cry without censoring or spiritualizing it. I gave my body full permission to purge. I whispered over and over, “I am safe. My body is a safe container for all that I feel.”
And then… I saw her.
The little girl inside me.
The performer. The singer. The pianist. The dreamer.
The one who was told that music was a waste of time.
The one who traded in creativity for stability.
The one who carried the pressure to “make it out” and make her family proud by becoming a scientist instead of an artist.
She had been waiting for me to remember her.
I held her and said, “I got you. I love you. I’ll support you now.”
And just like that, my shoulders softened. My chest loosened. The war inside started to quiet down.
This was never just about singing.
It wasn’t even just about fear or burnout.
This was about no longer sacrificing joy, creativity, and purpose for the illusion of safety.
This was about finally choosing myself—in the full expression of who I am—without guilt.
Because I’m not alone anymore.
I’m not a scared little girl trying to make everyone happy.
I’m a grown woman. A healer. A mother. A wife. A medicine singer. A leader.
And I get to be all of it.
That old shame? That fear of failing my family or my clients or my community?
That was just my inner child reminding me that she still needs love, not pressure.
She needs permission to dream again—and to believe that joy won’t destroy us.
It will heal us.
Because here’s the truth:
Your triggers, your anxiety, your anger… they’re not “low vibe.”
They’re alive.
And when you listen to them instead of judging them, they become keys—unlocking parts of you that have been silenced for far too long.
Our emotions are like music notes—some high, some low—and when we stop avoiding them, they start to work together. And the disharmony you once feared? It becomes the most powerful, beautiful composition of your life.
3 Soul Tools That Helped Me Break Through Fear of Failure and Shame
- Ask for help—even if your voice shakes.
You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. You don’t have to carry it all alone.
We’re not meant to heal in isolation. If you don’t have a spiritual community, I invite you to join mine—Sacred Earth Healing Hearts—a space where your breakdown is never judged, only held with love.
- Feel. Every. Damn. Thing.
Stop running from the parts of you that ache.
Cry. Scream. Shake it out. Speak to someone you trust and say, “I don’t need you to fix me—I just need you to hold me.”
Let your emotions move through you instead of getting stuck in your body. Your pain is not a punishment. It’s a message. And when you listen with love, it transforms.
- Rest and regulate.
Your nervous system is sacred.
Take a cleansing bath with sea salt. Light a candle that reminds you of home. Watch something silly. Breathe deep.
Let your body know: We’re safe now. We don’t have to hustle for worthiness. We get to be held, too.
If you need deeper support, I’m here.
I offer healing sessions that blend channeled energy work, intuitive guidance, Light Language, sound healing, and the presence of my Spirit team—Mary Magdalene, the Ancestors, and the Sirian Star Beings.
Whether you’re navigating grief, spiritual fatigue, childhood trauma, or breaking through your own fear of failure, I’ll meet you right where you are—with compassion, honesty, and divine guidance.
You don’t have to carry it alone anymore.
✨ Book a session or explore my offerings at:
www.ericavargas.com/services
You’re allowed to want more.
You’re allowed to rest.
You’re allowed to choose joy.
Not someday. Not when it’s safe.
Now.
With love and truth,
Erica